How to Eliminate Neediness and Inspire People to Respect You in One Easy Step

It's okay to be alone.

Depressing statement, right? For many, it's a scary statement too. It's incredibly ironic too, considering the huge level of interconnectivity that people experience on a daily basis in the Western world. One of the most striking statements to my ears, one that has rung true for me in the past and most of the people I've met, is this:

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a room full of people, and and yet I'm completely alone.

- Which, to me, is a really, really STUPID statement.


The feeling of loneliness in a crowded room can be a painful feeling. There's no denying that, but-

This is the BUT statement. This is the statement where I sound slightly feminist-y, despite staunchly rejecting feminism, because let's face it - as much as feminists go on about helping men get in touch with their feelings, they seem to have a really hard time going about it as they talk about drinking "male tears" on twitter and tumblr and other social outlets.

See, as a man who actually appreciates masculinity, I'm not a fan of being a wishy washy precious snowflake when it comes to emotions. BUT (and here comes the statement) - I am a full proponent of being present to oneself, and understanding what I feel at any given moment - because real men don't lie to themselves. From there, my choice to emote or be stoic is entirely my own. Not only that, but when I'm aware of myself, I become more aware of others, which only improves my ability to communicate with women. That's for another conversation, however.

We seem to run from loneliness. It locks us up, causes us to be needy, and dependent upon the outcome of social situations. You can feel it, the impulse to be completely manipulative and try to almost force the girl to like you, to want you, to need you almost as badly as you want and need her to like you - often without you even knowing if you actually like the girl for who she is in the first place.

And you need to understand the critical component to this: being okay with being alone and feeling loneliness will not cause you to be any more alone, or feel any more lonely - in fact, it'll make you feel a lot better.

Take some time to be alone. Get to know yourself. Start to enjoy your own company. How will you expect a woman to eventually choose to enter your world and walk your journey with you if you can't walk your own journey in the first place? Women don't want to be the center of your world. They want you to be the center of theirs. In other words, be the star of your own life, not the planet orbiting someone else's. If you can't stand to be alone, then you can't create your own world to draw women in. This also applies to guys who are petrified of being judged by others. Guys, everyone else is basically busy worry about everyone judging them, far too much to actually spend time judging you. Stop worrying about what others think, and spend more time focused on what you think.

More than that, if you cannot stand to be alone, then you will never be able to stand for your own principles - because sometimes, standing for your own principles requires you to stand alone.

I'm pretty sure I could go on, but I've said plenty here. Take some alone time to discover who you are, what you love, and to enjoy your own life. Then, invite people into that life.