Don't Go to College Unless You Have These Reasons

➢A note to my Facebook friends who are going to college under the following situations:

a) No clue what your major is
b) "I'm going here to party and have fun and experience college!"

Stop right there, don't fill out your college application yet, I'm about to save you a crap-ton of money. People who answered "a" check out section "A," and "B" for section "b."

A) If you're not sure what you want to go to college for, realize: it probably doesn't matter. Statistically, there's a good shot you'll work in retail for a while after getting your degree. But there's another level to this that you should understand: You don't have to love your job. You merely have to tolerate it. This may sound a bit off, but follow me on this. Nobody loves being a construction worker; they do it because it brings in the bucks. Ditto for nearly every other hard labor job - actually, over 90% of jobs that exist in this world. You probably won't love your job. 

So don't try to get educated for a job that you'll love, because 90% of the time you're shooting for a pipe dream. Instead, get into a job that you're good at. Understand that loving a job has a lot more to do with the people you work with than the actual work of the job itself. Get a job that pays a decent amount of money, and then use that money to do the thing you love. Love surfing? Great, become a computer programmer, and make enough money that you can afford to spend two months every year in Hawaii catching the waves. It's way better than ending up as a burger flipper in Florida, believe me. Unless you have a solid, planned out path that will lead you to your dreams (and most of you don't; you'll find this out later), focus instead on making yourself a good living.

Now for the people who answered "b..."

B) Seriously, are you SERIOUSLY going to put yourself in 50 thousand dollars of debt to get drunk and have shitty sex you won't remember the next morning? BTW, it WILL be shitty sex, because you can't emotionally connect when you're drunk and besides that you've had almost zero practice. 

Girls: you're going to learn really quickly that you can't bang a guy into a relationship. Guys: you're gonna learn really quickly that "fuckbuddies" is a total myth. Either you are gonna catch feelings, or she will. It's called Oxytocin. Look it up. 

But hey, if you really HAVE to have that "college experience," here's a plan to do that which will save your wallet. Get a job, and rent an apartment near campus. Take ONE class at that college, maybe two if they actually interest you. You can get your whole college experience, meet tons of people, hit up the parties, have pocket money, and have zero debt after four years. You will leave your friends looking like chumps after they graduate, because chances are they'll end up in retail anyways, and you've got four years up on them. 

PS, girls that go to college in order to get married: do this and you can still meet your future hubby, AND save him 50 thousand dollars of debt. Best wedding present ever? You bet.

PS, none of this applies to the STEM field. If you want to become a chemical engineer or a biologist, you still need that degree.