She loves reading romance novels, and he watches porn. "She must be romantic, and he thinks with his dick"... you might say if you thought like everybody else.
But you don't.
Because you pay attention, and ask these questions:
1) In any given standard romance novel (romantic movies apply here too), who is doing the actual romancing, the man or the woman?
2) In any given standard porno, is the focus on the sexuality of the man, or the sexuality of the woman?
3) If the focus of each medium features the opposite sex of the viewer, then doesn't that say something about the opposite sex?
Or, to phrase it differently:
4) If all men view women as sexual creatures, is it more likely that men think with their dicks, or that nature has evolved for them to instinctually treat women like sexual creatures? (No, this is not a reason for you to send women a dick pic. I don't care how impressive you think you are, you aren't).
Similarly, if women fantasize about romantic men, then doesn't it stand to think that the actual romantics here are the men? Women aren't romantic - they're just sexually aroused by romance. Men don't actually think with their dicks; they're just aroused by sexual women.
Don't mistake the object for the viewer.
"But women hate to be objectified" - no, women love to be objectified, just not by the kind of guy who thinks it's appropriate to send unrequited dick pics. If you're still not sure how this works, think back to college, and finding out one of your new friends was a vocal major. "I asked her to sing for me, and she refused. She must hate singing." No, she just hates being asked to sing by people who want to user her talent for their amusement.
People respond most negatively when a primary aspect of them is abused or otherwise taken lightly.
Men love to be romantic - they just hate being treated like a watered-down romantic nicety (nice guy syndrome 101). The women complaining about being objectified are the often the same women who have no problem abusing a man's romantic instincts. Women love to be sexual - they just hate being treated like their sexuality doesn't exist, or like it is the only thing that exists.
Men are romantic. Women are sexual. It's the law of nature.
Women watch romcoms because somebody has to play the man. The part of the woman she'll play later in her mind after the movie ends. Men watch porn because somebody has to play the woman. The part of the man he plays in his mind as a lead-up to the scene.
"So what do I do, treat women like a piece of meat?" Haven't you heard of nuance before? Approach women like a romantic man would approach a sexual woman. If you're a woman, approach men like a sexual woman would approach a romantic man.
And for god's sake, stop sending dick pics
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