This post isn't really inspired by anything so much as it was a thought burning through my mind. Having had friends who were/are socialist, I've had the opportunity to talk about and explore the differences between capitalism and socialism extensively, ranging from historical background to philosophical roots, and even up to the impact of human psychology on our ability to be governed.
In that time, I've come to a simple conclusion: barring the very, very occasional exception...
Every person is a capitalist. Even the ones who don't think so. Of course, you may disagree with me, and that is fine. But in the interest of elucidating upon some of the differences between socialism and capitalism, I put together a simple test - a litmus test, if you will - to see if you are among that very small number of people who actually are socialist by nature, or if you're really just a part of the evil corporate capitalist conglomerate obsessed with nothing but profit and greed until money us part, Amen. I present you with the following list:
You Might Be a Capitalist If:
1) You have something of value, but don't necessarily want to keep it any more. So you put it on ebay/craigslist/amazon. For example, maybe you want to get rid of your spare xbox. Is it a crime if you give it to your friend in exchange for fifty bucks or a pair of nice headphones? Whoops, CAPITALISM! Almost got ya. According to socialism, not only would you be unable to sell a spare xbox, you wouldn't be able to own one in the first place because under socialism all property is owned by the whole of society, and your usage of it is determined by common need. Speaking of which, if this was a socialist society, you wouldn't even necessarily have access to an xbox in the first place, because society might determine xboxes unnecessary and destroy them all. And you thought having to wait until after dinner to have your dessert was bad. :(
2) A friend sees something cool that you own, and comments on it. "Dude, that's a really sweet ride you got there!" Instead of offering to give them that something, you excitedly tell them where/how you got it and offer to hook them up with a sweet deal. For example, when a friend saw a particularly nice pair of headphones I owned: "You like these headphones? Yeah dude, I got them off amazon for like fifty bucks, you should totally get a pair before the price changes." In fact, if there is any single item that you own that you would prefer not to give up because it's yours, then you are in some shape or form a capitalist. Evil? I think not! Keep reading. Spoiler: at the end I tell you why capitalism is actually a pretty rockin' idea.
3) You invite a friend over for dinner. You don't try to charge them for the meal, because you're friends, and you aren't a douche-bag. Surprise! Capitalists aren't jerks. In fact, most of us are quite human, and chances are you could be one too. Just because a capitalist understands the inherent value of property (whoops, spoilers!) doesn't mean that they aren't generous in their personal lives. That being said, no. You cannot have my car. I need it to drive to work each morning. Is it getting a bit clearer? I hope so....
4) Someone breaks into your house and steals something while you're away. You find out, feel violated, and want your stuff back. Wait, did I say your stuff? No, SOCIETY'S STUFF THAT YOU ARE MERELY BORROWING FOR A SHORT TIME BEFORE RETURNING IT TO THE REST OF SOCIETY WHERE IT BELONGS. At least, that's what it'd be if you were a socialist. What, still want your diamond earrings back? *sigh* Fiiiiiineeeeee.....
5) You have a baby. It learns the term "mine," and does not for many months/years learn the meaning of the word "share." Even after it does, it has a keen dislike for the word - unless of course by "share" you mean "give baby more stuff." That kind of sharing is GREAT. Truly, the idea of property rights is one bred into the very nature of humanity. One of the first things a child learns is the value of ownership, and personal boundaries - and the two are extraordinarily linked. Don't believe me? Try setting up a ten foot-square boundary of personal space in a public space and see how far you get in keeping people out of it. The benefits of home ownership is not to be overstated.
In the end capitalism really boils down to two simple principles: respect for property, and respect for interpersonal contracts. If you make a contract with someone, you keep it. This is also known as natural law (and current judicial law). Nothing to do with corporations, or bureaucracies, or government intervention. Stealing from or cheating another person is antithetical to capitalism. This is why crony capitalism isn't really capitalism at all. A capitalist isn't by definition greedy, or obsessed with physical gain, or swimming in a pile of money. They could be, but they also could be poor, generous, and concerned more with the immaterial aspects of life than anything they could put in their wallet. Capitalism says nothing about the qualities of people, merely that they protect their own property, respect the property of others, and abide by their word. Do you do that? Then by golly, you're a capitalist, and that can hardly be called a bad thing.
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